Shivangi -- grown up and in college

This one is something that was started by my wife, Nandita, and I have added a few lines.

My elder daughter, Shivangi, started college this week.

It has made me realize how time flies. It makes me realize how limited that duration is, when we have our children to ourselves. Soon all we're left with is all those mental vignettes and snapshots of events...I feel proud to see her blossoming into a confident young woman. Of course there will be celebrations of achievements and culminations of years of hard work - but, I'd always think of her as my little daughter.

I remember the day she was born, about eighteen years ago. We were all crowded around the doors of the Operation Room in Greater Kailash Nursing Home in Indore. After a long night of pains, my wife and I finally came to the hospital. Dr. Ahilya Mukherji was the doctor and Nandita's childhood friend, Anjali, was the assistant. After several hours of wait, they finally decided to take her in the OR to do a C-section, as the baby was getting under stress. I remember the way my father-in-law sat in a corner in the room and prayed, my dad talked to other doctors in the hospital and I paced around the floor outside the OR. At about 7.20 PM, Anjali came out and announced that every thing was ok and we had a baby girl. My first question was about my wife's health and then I went in to see my wife and my baby. There she was -- all wrapped in a bundle, quiet and sleeping. I picked her up gently and clumsily and gently kissed her forehead.

I remember the anxiety when on the third day, I came to the hospital to find her with tubes and under UV light. But it was a minor hiccup. We brought her home soon and things became a blur of activities. As my wife and I had decided, the first child was to be named with the letter S and we chose the name Shivangi - after the name of Lord Shiva, based on a dream I had had (that is a write up for another blog). Shivangi soon became the hub of all activity. She demanded attention and wouldn't let me talk to anyone if she was in the room -- whether she was eating, or drinking milk from her bottle. She'd make this weird grunting noises when I started to say something to anyone else in the room. I also can't forget the countless nights I spent walking in my room with her in my arms, in the middle of the night, so that she could get some sleep. She was adored by one and all -- and was the apple of my dad's eyes. I could sense the attachment in both their eyes when they spent the time together -- so much so that for a long time, Shivangi claimed him as only her grand-dad and Neha, my younger daughter, called him as Didi's (elder sister) grand dad.

She was smart, sensitive and perceptive even as a baby. I clearly remember her first day at the informal pre-school/Day Care behind my house, where she was the only child who was crying when it was time to come home. Then she started a formal pre-school by the name of Mini Land and once again, she frolicked in without a backward glance at us. Her eagerness to go to school persisted next year when she went to Mini Heights where she continued to amaze us with her brilliance. I also remember, that she went to give her interview for the elite private school for Kindergarten. I was so apprehensive when they took her away in a different room, but she just skipped in to match the teacher's step. When they had finished testing her reading/writing and recognition skills and it was time for her to leave, she was adamant that she had not tried all the stations they had set up. We were told that we could just pay the fees at the office and not wait for the final selection list to be posted.

I believe her endearing nature made her the teacher’s pet. She excelled at everything, sports, arts, singing, studies and making friends. I also remember the time we were called by one of her teachers and told that we should not teach her ahead as she gets bored and sits staring out of the window, chair turned back to the blackboard. When we were skeptical of what she could do, the teacher asked Shivangi to write on the blackboard and she promptly did that , explaining as she did that this was so simple. The day that she boarded the school bus for the first time, is still clearly embedded in my memory. My wife stood there, visibly upset, but Shivangi was beaming as the bus conductor took her in and, by the return trip, had made friends with the driver and was already commanding the seat closest to him. She was super excited as she told us about her fantabulous day, and never once said that she missed home. She loved to go to school so much so that one day she ran out incompletely dressed and actually went to school like that.

I remember the time she visited the hospital when Neha was born -- all of 15 months old. She was awfully quiet when she walked in the room. She just sat near Nandita, looking at her and then the new baby. But she quickly adapted, and when we brought Neha home, Shivangi would often push Neha's stroller when we went for walks. They have grown up together into great friends, talking care of each other and ready to support each other. Shivangi always showed deep affection for her younger sister, she never showed any sibling jealousy and willing shared most everything. Her academic life has followed the same high achievement trajectory laced liberally with arts, music , sports and friends. Though, she has given up formal piano lessons, but I still hear her play. She has given up tennis lessons but luckily has been selected to play in her College Tennis Team. She has given up art as a subject, but just last week, she spent a long time in making an oil painting that she gifted to her piano teacher. She is now driving herself, compared to the previous modes of walking holding my hand, walking by herself, auto rikshaw, school bus, and sitting in my car. I will no longer see her waiting to be picked up by me, rather she will get out from her car and stride confidently in.

The last 4 years were devoted towards reaching this goal and now that it is here, I have several feeling. There is however, no feeling of loss, 'cause I have not lost anything. I feel thrilled to see her just the way I had dreamed her to have grown, and yet I know that this is just a beginning of a new journey. It is just end of one chapter for now. There is more to come....

Wheeling and Dealing!!

Just yesterday, my wife and I bought a 2005 Honda CR-V SE for our older daughter, Shivangi. It is a beautiful car – black in color with tinted glasses and about 40K miles on it. We surprised Shivangi with the car and it was fun to see her reaction.

The effort wasn’t easy, by any means. We (I) had to do a lot of research and finally settled on this car. Of course, my daughters just complicated the matter as they kept eyeing different cars. One wanted a Mustang and the other wanted a cute Smart car! I wanted safety as the top priority (and that rules the Mustang out from my list). Finally, I just decided to do this on my own. It helped that one of my colleagues at work was the neighbor of the dealership owner.

We shelled out $5K for the car – roughly about 1/3rd of the asking price, as down payment. The deal went through in under 2 hours and we drove the car back. As my wife and I got talking in the night, we realized the enormity of the situation. Our daughter had grown up and we could now give her a responsibility of driving a vehicle. I’d have never thought of buying a $16k car for my kids in India (that is like a Rs.800,000 vehicle!!).

My wife and I thought about our younger days --- our first vehicles and those of our parents. My first vehicle was an old beat up ladies cycle (Landmark was the brand). I got it as a gift for standing first in my class in grade 5th. I believe my father bought it from a friend for about Rs. 75/- (back then, the USD traded for about Rs 8/- -- so this was like a $9 bicycle). After the initial euphoria died, I realized that all my friends had cool looking racing bikes while I had an old beaten ladies bike. By the time I was in the 7th grade, I found it embarrassing to ride to school on a ladies cycle. When I reached my 9th grade, my dad got me a red BSA SLR, another used cycle he bought for about Rs150/- (by then, the USD was trading at Rs 18 to a dollar, so this was again under $10/-). I loved that cycle and used it till I finished my graduation in Holkar Science College. Only once did I buy a new cycle – in 1983 when I was studying in my final year of B.Sc in Holkar Science College. It was a beautiful red colored Hero cycle. I paid Rs.400 for it and sadly, it was stolen within the first week from the College cycle stand. Fortunately, I still had my old BSA to ride.


When I went to Pune to study for my engineering, I ended up buying a used cycle in my second year (called sophomore in the US), for Rs. 200/-. One fine day, when I was returning to my hostel, my friend Dhananjay Ashtekar needed a ride so we decided to ride doubles, with me sitting on the bar in front. As we rode on a over bridge, the bike hit a pot hole and all of a sudden, I found myself staring at the front wheel of the bike moving to the left and the tar of the road approaching my face. I took evasive action and put my hands in the front to lessen the impact of the fall. That helped and I thought I was fine, until Ashtekar came and landed on my head, hitting it on the tar. Realizing that I was on a busy downtown road, I reacted and quickly pushed him away and rolled over to stand up, just as a car and a scooter screeched to a halt near us. A good Samaritan got us the wheel and helped us get to the side, where I realized that my shirt was soaked in blood – I had a broken nose, thanks to Ashtekar falling on my head. To make a long story short, and to remain focused on the tale of vehicles, I eventually made it to my hostel with a swollen face, a messed up shirt and a broken bike and nose. Raja and Arun, my other good friends, came over promptly and took me to the hospital where the doctors pumped me with injections and wanted to keep me in the hospital to rule out any head injury. Fortunately, I was fine and things got back to normal. But I learned a lesson – never to buy a used vehicle with out proper inspection.

I was able to convince my dad that I needed a Luna (a simple moped) in Pune (it was always Dad – my mom never fell for these. If she had her way, I’d have become an expert in the Pune Bus system known as PMT). So in 1987, I ended up buying a Luna for about Rs. 4000/-. Boy, did I take good care of it – never missed a scheduled servicing or maintenance. That was the vehicle I used to receive my wife Nandita, when she visited me there (yes, for those who don’t know, I married her in 1987, just before starting my junior year). That was the vehicle I used to runaround to complete my projects and run errands.

Once I landed back home, I started using my dad’s Kinetic Honda. When my dad was a kid, the British ruled India. My grandpa was the jailor at the central jail in Indore. They were fairly well to do and eventually even bought a car. But the luck changed when my grandfather succumbed to injuries he suffered while suppressing a jail riot. My dad was then in high school. His first vehicle was a Raleigh bicycle – a beautiful piece with gears and dynamo driven lights. The bike was passionately maintained till the 80s, when he gave it to his friend’s brother. In the 70s, when he and my mom were building our house, it got tiring for him to cycle around from work to home to the construction site. So, they bought a Suvega, a 50 CC moped. When I reached my 8th grade, he sold the Suvega and bought a Hero Majestic, another 50 CC moped, which he rode till 1988. It was a beautiful green colored vehicle that he loved and maintained very well. We also bought a Luna for my mother. It was a very simple living for us – they were simple people and preferred spending their money on the kids’ education. Both my parents were doctors and could have splurged on themselves had they wanted to. So while we (my sister and I) received the best available education in expensive schools, my parent toiled.

In 1988, after my marriage, my dad bought a Kinetic Honda. It was a red colored 150 CC scooter that was built by Honda in Japan and sold by Kinetic, the same company that made the Luna. I still remember the number plate – MKE 3718. I remember the time when I picked it up from the shop and rode it home, along with my dad. Nandita was standing on the terrace and saw us as we turned into the lane towards the house. I could see her get excited and run down to meet us. She then took the scooter for a ride. It was the most expensive thing we had ever bought until then and it cost all of Rs.14000/-. The vehicle was considered to be very fragile – so much so that my cousin quipped if we had receive a matchbox free with the scooter to light it up in case of a fall or accident. ?. He now has two himself.

After my father had his first heart attack, in 1992, we started looking at old cars. I remember spending a couple of Sundays with my father, walking amongst the used cars in the Car Melas in Indore. Our budget was about Rs. 50000/-. However, that was never to be. He passed away in Feb of 1993. Then, his close friend and our neighbor, Dr. Mukherji was selling his Fiat. I knew that dad was keen to buy that car and so offered to pick it up. I ended up buying it for Rs.90,000/- (USD $2200/- back then) . The funny part was that I didn’t know how to drive. But that has been the story of my life ( I bought my first album (Band on the Run by Wings, before I bought a record player, my first CD before I bought a CD player). But that was never a hassle - it turned out that I was pretty good at it. I picked up the art of driving like a fish takes to water and drove around the town with the help of a driver in the local Special Armed Forces Unit of the MP Police, where my older sister was the Superintendent. By then Shivangi was about 2 years old. We drove from Indore to Bhopal in June of 1993 for our first long drive. The Fiat car was called as Premier Padmini and was a fairly decent car. It was, like most cars in India, a stick shift vehicle. The cooling system was water driven and I had to stop after every couple of hours of driving to refill the radiator and allow the car to cool down. But I loved the car.

In 1993, we decided to sell the Kinetic Honda and buy another one. So, we bought a black one (MP-09H-1678) for about Rs 20000/-. The USD was by then close to Rs 50/- per piece, making it about $400/-. I used this vehicle till the day I left India in 2000. Also, in 1996, we eventually grew tired of our Fiat and sold it to a friend for Rs50000/-. He used it for another 7 years after that, for his local commute. We on the other hand, picked up a Maruti Suzuki, a 800CC vehicle from a neighbor for about Rs. 180000/-. This for us, was the ultimate mark of luxury back then. I used this car till December 2000 and sold it to my tax advisor for Rs. 100,000/- in order to raise some money to move to US.

We landed in SFO in November of 2000, when I took up a job with AT&T. We decided to live in San Ramon, about 4 miles from my place of work. For the first couple of months, we did not own a vehicle. We chose a place close to an elementary school, so that the kids would have the convenience of walking to and from school. I found out that the only public transport available were two buses that plied at 7 AM and 7.20 AM, to take me towards my work place and would return back at 3 PM. Since there was no way, I could leave my work at 3 PM, coming back in a bus was ruled out. I did use that bus to go to work, but had to walk several times as the bus wouldn’t show up. The area was too posh for people to use the buses. Then, my wife found that the dad of another kid in the same school worked at Chevron, right across from AT&T and would be happy to give me a ride. So, I’d stand outside my apartment complex daily at 6.30 AM in the winter (it was December/January of 2000 and it was cold ( remember, I was just coming from India!!!) for Jitendra to come and pick me up. He also let me drive around the town in his car to help me get used to the rules in the country.

Then in February, Jitendra, Nandita and I drove around to visit all the car dealerships looking at cars. After spending a couple of weekends, we ended up at Hyundai in Dublin and after spending the entire day in the shop, ended up buying a new Hyundai Elantra for $13000/-. Jitendra put in our down payment of $3000/- (which I later returned over a period of 3 months). It was a stick shift vehicle, much like the vehicles we drove in India (and like Jitendra’s vehicle, that I had used to learn driving in the US and to get my license). The car was simple and cheap but nice. It gave us about 32 miles per gallon.

In November of 2002, a friend’s neighbor was moving to Europe due to the economic downturn here in the US. He was selling his 1997 Honda Odyssey with 57000 miles for $13000. Fortunately, he agreed to my offer of $11000/- and I had my second car. The 1997 Honda Odyssey is a V4 with good miles per gallon ratio ( and it was our first auto transmission vehicle. I still have this vehicle and it has so far been driven to about 122000 mloaded tooiles. I just got new tires on this.

In 2006, we decided to sell the Hyundai Elantra and traded it for a Hyundai Tucson. The reason was to help Nandita who had a fairly long commute and it got difficult and risky for her to drive a low car on the freeway in the rains. The brand new car, cost us about USD $22K out the door, and has been our most expensive purchase outside of the house we bought. It has a 6 CD changer, auto transmission, power windows, power steering and all the works.

So now, Shivangi has a car that is fully loaded too. It comes with 6 CD changer, auto transmission and has power everything. Now when I think of it ( we as parents are trying to exactly what my parents did; give our best to our kids. Help them become much better people and focus on their work and studies.

Here is a comparative chart to indicate how things moved. Note that my vehicle, when I was about 19 years old, cost me about $23/- :)

VEHICLE	Old/New	Year	Rupees	USD $$$$
Landmark Cycle 20”	Old	1974	75	9
BSA SLR	Old	1977	150	9
Hero cycle 18"	New	1983	400	23
Suvega 50 CC Moped	New	1976	4000	235
Luna 50 CC moped	New	1976	3500	220
Atlas Bicycle 22”	Old	1986	200	22
Hero Majestic 500 CC Moped	New	1979	5500	300
Luna 50 CC Moped	New	1979	4500	260
Kinetic Honda Scooter	New	1988	14000	800
Kinetic Honda Scooter	New	1993	20000	700
Fiat Premier	Old	1993	90000	2200
Suzuki Maruti	Old	1997	190,000	4000
Hyundai Elantra	New	2001	7,00,000	13,000
Honda Odyssey LX	Old	2002	6,00,000	11,000
Hyundai Tucson	New	2006	12,00,000	22,000